I spoke to someone recently who remarked, “life begins at 40”. They couldn’t have known how true that is, if you look at it from the perspective of the Quran which says,
“…when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims.”
(Aayah No. 15, Surah Al-Ahqaf, Chapter No. 46, Holy Qur’an).
Why am I mentioning this? Because this year, in 72 days, I am turning 40. And yes, my life is actually beginning at 40. My brand new, wonderful life with my beloved husband!
When I first started this blog, I did it therapeutically. That “peace in the freefall”? That was something I was trying to attain, and it always seemed out of reach. Over years and events I have grown and journeyed. I have taken risks and made choices others might not have made, or would make as I make them now. But I believe I am on the path Allah chose and sees as best for me for two significant reasons:
- I have found more peace than I ever had before
- My character has improved in exponential ways
…For me, those are the most important achievements I could ever hope for in this life.
It’s been nearly a year since I have written anything current here. In this past year, I have been tested with incredible things. I have faced challenges with all of my sons, friendship, my own mental health…and those are just things sourcing from my side of life. There have been even more tests coming from the life my husband shares with me, as well (not HIM- he is a gem! Circumstances beyond control, and too personal to mention here). But Alhamdulillah, all of these things have only helped to enrich my life, strengthen my purpose and resolve, and clarify my values. And those benefits are what I use as a foundation to go forward, to choose wisely, and to help further understand what Allah wishes for me in this life.
So what does my new life look like? Masha Allah, it’s beautiful. Next week I leave to go back to Egypt where I will remain and live until October. I will continue to work for the same company, which I will celebrate 10 years of service with just after I arrive back to the states.
While in Egypt, in shaa Allah I will be celebrating my 40th birthday, going with my husband on Umrah, fasting the blessed and holy month of Ramadan, celebrating my husband’s birthday, celebrating Eid ul Adha, enjoying my lovely Egyptian friends and family, and giving my daughter a good dose of traditional Islamic culture.
When I return to the states after that time, perhaps my job will let me continue going back and forth splitting the year like that. Perhaps it won’t, and that will lead to other choices to consider. Perhaps my first ex-husband will have stepped up and become the father he should be to his sons, or perhaps they will stay in foster care. Perhaps my oldest son will be incarcerated for the four criminal charges he was just arraigned for, or perhaps he will be on probation.
I can’t see the future, and I don’t need to. The one Who created me and loves me, He is in control. He has not let me down this far, and I know He won’t as long as I submit to Him as best I am able. What I do know is that all that matters in this life is how well we strive for that.
I hope to continue writing here while I am in Egypt. I think the treasures I live there are definitely worth sharing. There will be many adventures and happy moments in shaa Allah…no better way to begin life at 40!