Strange Swirls Inside


For some reason I’ve felt off the last few days.  No energy, tired, unmotivated, somewhat apathetic, and just overall “blah”.  I am not sure what the reason may be, so I’m just hoping I can attribute it to cyclic hormones.  I know these phases always pass, but I hate enduring them nonetheless.


If it were just the feelings to contend with, it wouldn’t be so bad. However, I start having unpleasant dreams and that makes me have bad thoughts about myself. For instance, last night I had several dreams, but in all of them I kept making things difficult for others.  I kept coming off as antagonistic, inept, or argumentative without intending to, and I could tell it was bothering the others who I was dreaming about. I didn’t like feeling this way, and so when I woke this morning I had a strong sense of feeling like the blip of space I assume in existance was too much. I felt like I was a burden and only seemed to agitate others even though I don’t intend to.  I know this is probably all distortion, but right now I’m just kind of wallowing in a scuz puddle.  I have to mull everyting over tonight before I go to bed insha’Allah and renew my niyats for tomorrow.




One response »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s