Alhamdullilah

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Sometimes (no, actually, a lot of times)  something good happens in my life and I try to give thanks and remain grateful for it. In my mind I will say, “Alhamdullilah”  or “Shukrulillah”.  Usually every time I do this, those seemingly small words seem overshadowed by the blessing I’ve gotten.  I feel that saying it just once, or even 100 times, doesn’t show the magnitude of the appreciation I am feeling.

For example, today before my boss left work he came by my desk with an award certificate and mentioned briefly that an extra $50 would be on my next check.  After he walked away I pinned it up next to the other two awards I have received since starting this new position  last February.  I looked at all three of them and easily recalled the four years prior that I worked in another department, feeling unappreciated despite the hard work I put in. I remembered walking by the cubicles of other workers and seeing them have similar awards, but yet I never received any even though I worked just as hard. Now, I have three awards in less than a year’s time.

I am not thankful for for the extra $50 that came with it, because money like that is easily gained and lost. No, what I am thankful for from the bottom of my heart is knowing for certain that Allah knew about my frustrations all those years I was working at entry level. He saw how much it hurt me to constantly be overlooked when it probably wasn’t deserved. He had compassion on my feelings of hopelessness, especially when I started to believe I would never be able to advance past that department. He cares for me enough to let me be recognized now in even the smallest of ways, just to remind me that He has never forgotten me.  For that, my thankfulness feels deeper than what the words can capture.

It’s not the only thing that has me feeling this way.  Over the weekend, we were out of cash. We were actually playing duck duck goose with funds that were assigned for other things, trying to get by until our next payday.  I called my grandfather (who raised me) to ask about reputable online auto parts vendors as we needed to replace a sensor on our remaining car (our primary one was stolen two weeks ago).  The day after I talked to him, he called me back and told me that he had made $300 on a car part he sold last week, and he was putting that money into my account.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdullilah, Alhamdulillah, but that just doesn’t cut it.  Every time, I mean EVERY time we have been in financial need, Allah comes out of nowhere and provides from a place we would never expect.  I am not so much thankful for the money, although it helps.  I am thankful that Allah loves me enough to keep reminding me that He is here to care for all of my needs.  Knowing that is priceless.

Ya Allah, when I am giving You Shukr, I am not giving it just for the things You are giving me in this life that pass away; but I am giving it for the realities I am learning about You that will only manifest fully in the hereafter. Alhamdullilah for that, too.

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